


Drugs Hooking in a daze and Prison

by KrustyKaleigh



Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: Canon Lesbian Relationship, F/F, Femslash, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Lesbian Sex, Mental Health Issues, Other, Prison, Prison Sex, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-23 02:05:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17674349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrustyKaleigh/pseuds/KrustyKaleigh
Summary: For some reason i can't tag Marie Winter in here yetAllie Novak point of view





	Drugs Hooking in a daze and Prison

**Author's Note:**

> It sad that pete mctige kill off Bea, when she had so much potential.  
> Giving her a lover such as allie, who keeps shagging franky, ruby just goes to show what grief? Allie had? It is sad. Bea character deserved so much better. Or they could have wrote allie character better. Mctige sell sex to the men who watch.

My name is Allie. When i was a kid i still lived at home. My mother was neurotic. A case. Yet I'm not sure i blame her. My dad drank to numb memories of an accident that left him with a bad limp, he cheated on my nutter mom. They fought, left one day and never came back. My mother was stuck caring for my uncle as well as my drug addicted brother. No wonder she was so angry and physically and emotionally abusive.  
One time when i was in the 5th grade in grade school, she wrote an essay for me. It ended up winning some award. She took her 'win' seriously. She took great pride in this, although i could care less.  
The essay was about my 'mentally retarded' uncle at the time the terminology was adequate. Yet the story was a lie. My uncle isn't retarded. We should have been so lucky, as then he would have been a decent person, instead of some illiterate pervert. He's a brain damaged sociopath who we were always cleaning up after. Needless to say, i ran away at twelve, then kept running away. That last time she kicked me out.

Wanderlust had me at fifteen and i didn't look back.

The streets were cold and i lived in constant fear of having to protect myself from gangs and pimps on the look out for fresh faces. Young kids such as myself that looked like we were hurting. I'd failed to mastered the dead stare gripping a knife look yet.  
One night in the cold i was huddled, debating my life or death when i met her.

Her name was Marie. She was so beautiful, with blond hair so light like snow, and eyes so blue. She treated me like an equal and her kid all the same. She let me sleep with her, sleep in her bed. I was the only one she trusted with her son, Danny. We grew really close. They were the family i needed.  
Marie was the mother i never had. Yet like all good free things, this new life came with a catch. A few. Marie introduced me to harder drugs, heroin. The best high ever. I guess to compensate her, she acted as my Madam and pimped me out to johns. Still, i relished in the fact that i was special. I wasn't like her other girls'.

They didn't get to stay at her house. Play with her kid, sleep in her bed with her. Somehow, maybe it was my naivete, i earned her trust. Marie was the mother i never had and lover i always wanted all rolled into one. How's that for incestuous?

Marie was my first love of many, my first of many things. I admit she schooled me in ways of pleasing males and females. Making love to Marie was excellent. Mind, body and soul fused into a huge orgasmic experience.

I admit it, i felt like a princess, as i was the only one allowed to share Marie's bed and i was her very most special girl at the time. The other girls could not understand, for their jealousy, whispers and glares said all they did not to my person. They hated that the queen had chosen me over them. Marie would never trust them with Danny. Her son was the apple in her eye. He was like the little brother i never had. 

Marie was the start of my taste for fine women in power.

To be completely honest, i was a street kid, i had a so call 'boyfriends' who had introduced me to heroin and other drugs. My nose was like a vacuums. I did what it took to escape, to numb myself, while my one last boyfriend insisted i continue to sell my body to supply our drug habit.

At nights, i would sit on the street curbs with sad eyes, worn out as life had beaten me up and down. My eyes pleaded, begging passerby for change. Then Marie found me. She saved me from a worse fate. One where i could have been murdered by a john or sex trafficked to a local pimp from China. Marie saved me, took me in, she trusted me. She also teach me to shoot up the heroin instead of snort it. She teach me how to please women, more so than a man. Men were quick and simple. Yet Marie's love making lasted for many hours, all night til the sun of dawn streaked through her curtains. I had felt so loved and wanted.

After awhile Marie seem to lose interest. I aged out of her attraction? For i am uncertain. Still, i was made to continue the life of a working callgirl. There was no other way i knew. Until Kaz found me at my worst, took me under a wing and mothered me.

Which leads us to prison. Kaz Red Right Hand gang. Vigilante to all the women's beaters, all perverts out there. When news of Bea Smith broke, the woman who kill her bad abusive husband, Kaz was very happy and gungho.  
Bea Smith was a shining light, a saintly figure to us all.

Kaz was always sweet to me, like a true mother. As long as we agreed with her feminist extremist theories. I have had a few abortions as i needn't have buns in the oven from johns. Kaz saw Bea, and it set our world afire. Bea was everything Kaz wanted to be. A woman taking justice into her own hands. A woman to make as poster for Kaz' cause. She really built Bea's ordeal into a fit for her cause and the Red Right Hand. Whether or not it fit, Kaz shoved the wrecked puzzle pieces into place. Sometimes the fervor of Kaz frighten me, she was very black and white, no gray ateas. Many times it was her way or no other. I went along with it as i knew her cause was greater for good for women, so details are forgetful of me.  
Kaz was busy detoxing me and trying to keep me off heroin.

Once Kaz went to visit Bea in prison. When she came back, she preached Bea word as if gospel. We killed Harry among others. At the time i did not know it was not what Bea had wanted. The second visit Kaz paid Bea, Kaz returned angry. No longer was Bea on pedestal, she was now enemy. I did not understand the shift in Kaz opinion so fast, and neither did i question. The third and last time Kaz went to prison, the rest of us of her Red Right Hand group joined her as inmates. She despised Bea Smith. I do not understand why she could idolize a woman one moment and the next hate her. Bea Smith was beautiful. I found myself once more enamored with a beautiful powerful woman. Kaz was not impressed or happy with me. I followed my heart any way. It took a lot yet finally i got Bea into my arms.

Bea was a strong leader, a woman who needed purpose. Even leaders get tired of leading. Queens tire of the throne and having to keep order of their subjects. Bea had no family left, she had nothing to lose. I found her in janitor closet cutting self harm behaviour into her thigh. I convinced her no, her pants down, tears streaking her face, i kissed them away. I gently and sensually put healing balm on her self made wounds. It was like making friends with stray cat or dog at first. She was not trusting, and had struck at me in the showers before. I couldn't help but stare at her beauty. Her naked body slammed against mine wet from shower, against the wall turned me on even at that time she threaten. She was not certain of my intentions, as Kaz had it out to get her. After time, queen Bea realized my love and fell.

There were set backs. Reasons why junkies such as myself need to stay sober. After scoring gear, i was told i was flailing about the prison yard, as if a common slag. Women i was kissing and grabbing one after another.

Not even did i recognize my love, Bea. I was to have said 'you want to pat my pussy mama?'. Bea was disgusted. I do not blame her. Kaz,had arms crossed a sneer, asking Bea if she would take care of me. Grossed out, turned off by such disgusting behaviour of mine, Bea sent me back to Kaz.

Later after i had another slip up. Thankful not so embarrassing. Bea took me into her cell. She helped me detox. She dealt with all my ugly, the vomit, the screaming, cursing, kicking. She stayed by my side and held me until sleep came. Her arms around me were a beautiful blanket of love and safety.

Making love to Bea~ I'm in love again!

Only to have Ferguson the Freak hotshot me and i almost kissed her.

Bea thought i was dead... Her true warrior spirit with nothing to lose let her to manipulate idiot Vera Bennett for favors, shanks, to attack Joan.  
Of course she would kill her self defense. Such a high rival was worthy to Ferg, Bea told me once. I guess i missed the other memos. I made Bea think she was toxic. Getting those she loved killed.

Still i fucked Franky, Ruby, others. I've come to realize I AM the Chemical problem.

I conned that idiot guard Jake through promises of sex to smuggle me in some small .38 two shot revolver. The type women in America keep in their purse for self defense and best hope they don't miss their two shots.

I place the barrel under my chin in such a position it will eradicate my brain stem. For i do not wish to come back from this. This is my end. I caused Bea grief, she deserved better. So did Marie, Franky, Kaz, Ruby. I've always gravitate to women of power. Even Westfall never figured me out, thought i had a need to gravitate towards important people, regardless of consequences thanks mctige. It ends here, along with the deaths.

Head hung over i sit inside my cel and pull the trigger, small .38 from dirty Jake, everything ceases to exist.

The visceral, brain matter, chunked clumps of brain matter, hair, blood on the cell walls.

Forever I'm with Bea, as i should be. It's shameful i let this whoring behaviour carry on after her death. I'm not worthy. Now i can forever join Bea in eternity.


End file.
